THE SHIT LIFE CHRONICLES™ Vol. 1 + Vol. 2 – DOUBLE RUG BUNDLE

ONLY $7.50 FOR 48 HOURS

(then $44 – I will personally come to your house and change it)

You are buying TWO actual federal crimes in PDF form:

Vol. 1 – “How I Made $1M in 3 Days… Shipping”

• Sold 10,000 radioactive butt plugs that glowed so hard they set off airport security from the warehouse

• Supplier ghosted, turned out to be a 14-year-old in Shenzhen running 47 accounts

• FDA raid happened LIVE on Twitch while I was ranking them “best glow hole 2025”

• Pivoted in 43 minutes to $47 “Certified Survivor” hazmat stickers printed on the seized evidence bags

• Made second million selling stickers of the crime scene to the same people who got refunded

• One buyer tried to return the sticker because “it didn’t glow” – I sent him a real Geiger counter bill instead

Vol. 2 – “The NFT Dragon Egg Disaster”

• Minted 5,000 eggs promising real dragons in 90 days

• Art was literally MS Paint + dragon emoji, trait rarity = color of oval

• Raised 3,200 ETH in 27 hours

• Spent treasury on rented Lambo, 40,000 Kinder Eggs, and a tattoo that says “wen dragon” on my ass

• Unboxed the “utility” live: cracked real Kinder Egg, plastic dinosaur fell out, chat called me slurs in 17 languages

• Got doxxed because my real name was printed inside the Kinder wrapper

• Emergency drop: “Dragon Ashes” – burn your egg NFT, get pixel art of a cremated egg for 0.1 ETH

• Sold 3,200 ashes in 6 hours while hiding in a McDonald’s toilet

• Final cope: launched “Ashes Ashes” collection (ashes of the ashes) – sold out again

• Now permanently banned from the state of Wyoming for “attempted dragon smuggling”

20 pages of war crimes, cope, and accidental profit.

Includes:

• Both full PDFs

• Bonus 4K wallpaper of me crying in a bathtub full of Kinder chocolate

• Lifetime membership in the “I Got Rugged By A Cartoon Dragon” Discord (0 utility, max bullying)

$7.50 right now – cheaper than the copay on the therapy you’ll need after reading this.

After 48 hours it’s $44 and I delete the discount forever.

Buy or I leak your wallet address to the dragon egg holders.

They are still mad.

Tag your broke friend who still believes in “roadmaps” 🥚☢️🤡