F*CK YOU FIX: How to Ghost Your Own Life (without dying)

🔥 TIRED OF EXISTING? SAME. 🔥

Finally, a guide that teaches you how to professionally disappear from your responsibilities while technically staying alive!

This isn't your typical self-help BS. This is self-HELP-ME-DISAPPEAR.

WHAT YOU'RE BUYING FOR €3.50:

📄 3 Pages of Pure Chaos (Quality > Quantity is a scam anyway)
👻 The 3-Step Ghost Protocol™ (Patent pending in my imagination)
🏆 Certified Ghost Pro Certificate (Your name in Comic Sans - frame it!)
🍜 Survival Guide (Spoiler: It's mostly instant noodles)
💬 Excuse Generator Templates (For when you resurface)
😂 Immediate Regret (But funny regret)

PERFECT FOR:

• Quarter-life crisis (or mid-life, we don't judge)
• People who peaked at "seen at 2:47 AM"
• Professional procrastinators
• Anyone who's ever wanted to yeet themselves into the void
• Gift for that friend who never texts back
• Yourself at 3 AM when you're making great decisions

WHAT'S ACTUALLY INSIDE:

✓ Step-by-step ghosting instructions (tested on my own life)
✓ Digital detox guide (aka how to delete everything)
✓ Emergency instant noodle diet plan
✓ Auto-reply templates for maximum confusion
✓ Legitimate-looking certificate (as legitimate as Comic Sans gets)
✓ Bonus: Coping mechanisms that don't actually work

WARNING SIDE EFFECTS:

• Uncontrollable laughter (or crying, depends on your mood)
• Sudden urge to actually ghost everyone
• Realization that €3.50 could've bought actual food
• Temporary productivity (from the guilt)
• Permanent knowledge that you bought this

CUSTOMER REVIEWS:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "I followed this guide and now nobody talks to me. SUCCESS!" - Anonymous Ghost

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "My mom is worried but I'm thriving (I'm not)" - Certified Buyer

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Better than therapy (it's not, please seek help)" - Some Guy

WHY €4.99?

Because €5 seemed too professional and €4.98 is for cowards. This is the exact price of:

• Not quite a coffee ☕
• 1/3 of a Netflix subscription 📺
• 2.5 instant noodle packs 🍜
• Your last bit of dignity 💀

INSTANT DOWNLOAD INCLUDES:

• 1 PDF (revolutionary, I know)
• 3 Pages (counted them twice to be sure)
• 0 Refund Policy (spent it already, sorry)
• ∞ Bad Life Choices

FROM THE CREATOR OF:

• "The Bullshit Bundle"
• "404: Success Not Found"
• "Procrastination Pro Max"
• Other mistakes available in my store!

MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE:

LOL no. But if you don't laugh at least once, you're probably already dead inside (the PDF still works though).

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

This PDF is for entertainment purposes only. We're not responsible for actual ghosting, lost friendships, worried parents, or the existential crisis that comes with realizing you spent money on this. Please ghost responsibly.

📱 FOLLOW FOR MORE BAD DECISIONS:
@SHITPRODUCTKING everywhere (or don't, I'm not your mom)

INSTANT DOWNLOAD - Because waiting is for people with patience

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